Episode 39

full
Published on:

22nd Feb 2024

From Pies to Holistic Confident Speaking Coach

In this Episode we are talking to the lovely Charlotte Lewis.

Charlotte is a fantastic guest as we delve into her theatre directing background, her tips and tricks into getting more natural in front of audiences.

Her background in pies (listen in to hear more about this!) have made her have this super power about speaking. relationships and finance.

She talks candidly about her anxiety and therapy to get her where she is today.

You can find Charlotte at the following places:

Instagram: PUBLIC SPEAKING CONFIDENCE | Sound Like the Best You (@charlottelewisconsultant) • Instagram photos and videos

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlotte-lewis-105b0152/

You can keep up to date with the host Helen here:

https://linktr.ee/Helencorsicadmore

Liked this episode? Remember to subscribe and leave a review! Or if you want to be a guest then contact me at: hello@helencorsicadmore.com

Thank you,

Hels x

Transcript
Speaker:

Hello and welcome to another episode

of Fabulous and Female Podcast with

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me, your host, Helen Corsey Catmore.

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Today I am super excited because I've

got the most wonderful guest, um, who,

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if you are watching this on video, will

see she's in a very fancy, she's got

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a better microphone than me, and we've

just been talking about that, um, but

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the lovely, lovely Charlotte Lewis.

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Um, I'm delighted to have

Charlotte on as a guest.

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She is a fellow Welshie, which that,

you know, is fantastic in itself.

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Um, she is also an international

theatre director and a public

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speaking coach slash consultant.

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We've had a bit of a conversation

about this before, haven't we?

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About, um, do we like the word coach?

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We prefer consultant.

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Um, and Charlotte absolutely

loves supporting individuals and

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groups to look sound and feel

more natural and confident when.

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A speaking challenge comes their way.

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And also we are going to be dipping into,

um, some yoga and breathwork conversations

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as well, which I'm super excited about.

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So welcome, lovely Charlotte.

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Oh, thank you so much for having me.

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It's so amazing and we'll just talk a

little bit about that amazing microphone.

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It's not, it's, it's

not yours, mine is it?

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It's not, it's not mine.

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No.

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My partner, so it's quite funny.

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He's in front of the camera and

I'm behind it, . So this is his

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voiceover gear that I absolutely

just steal for a podcast or whatever.

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I feel very, very comfortable.

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. It looks very fantastic.

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And if, if nobody's watching this,

um, as video and any just listening.

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Yeah, just jump on.

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It looks very professional.

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Whereas mine just looks a little

bit phallic, just poking in there.

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You can see it.

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Anyway, yeah, there we go.

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Might have started, not how I

meant to be talking about things.

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Anyway, that's deep dive.

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So, little bit of information about you,

but I'd love for you to tell my audience

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a little bit more about Charlotte Lewis.

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So, a little bit more about your

theatre days and more about you.

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Let's get to know you

a bit more personally.

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Great.

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So yeah, as you said, I love helping

people to look sound and feel more natural

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when they're taking on those challenges

where things just feel like the volume

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dial has been turned up a little bit and

it's like the tension kind of gets to you.

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Maybe speaking a little bit

differently to how you normally would.

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And I think it's come from.

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My years as a theater director.

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So I absolutely love getting people

prepped for stage, doing something that

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they never thought was possible, really

finding some different kind of tune that

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they want to play on their piano, um, and

showcasing it in front of other people.

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And that's where it first started really

was I was working with really experienced

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performers and less experienced performers

or people who'd never done this before.

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And I was finding that.

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Obviously, you'd have to coach those

two different people in different ways

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to, you know, take on that challenge.

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And through that, I was just adapting

the techniques and some of the things, as

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you say, from like yoga and breathwork,

I went off to become a yoga and

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breathwork teacher as well, and kind

of mashing them all together and seeing

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how could I help someone do something

that they never thought was possible.

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And that's where the kind of.

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Coach consultant thing comes into play.

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It's like for some people, they

really do need that holistic support.

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It's introduction to exercises

they've never tried before, and

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they can feel quite magical and like

you're being coached like a PT, I

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guess, in a new kind of exercise and

then for other people, it is just.

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The tweaks that we can make the

input that I can, I can be the

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sort of mouthy audience member.

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So then it is a bit more like

consulting because I'm like, what

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if you tried this or kind of rock

the boat a little bit about this?

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Have you thought about that?

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And then hopefully then

their cogs are wearing.

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So that's where there's sort of a swing

between those two, those two phrases.

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But yeah.

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And as you say, I'm a fellow

Welshie originally from Swansea.

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Yeah.

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So I think as Welsh people,

there's a lot of storytelling.

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There's a lot of, kind of, speaking in

pubs and I don't know what you mean!

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What's here?

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The Land of Voices or something like that?

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This is it!

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Land of Voices.

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And actually, this is, I just

remembered about the first time we met.

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We come from oddly kind of

similar backgrounds, right?

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Cause your family were green

grocers, is that right?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And my family are, they own a pie company.

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And so there was always this

kind of customer focus growing

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up and like, how do we get at?

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Yeah.

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And how do we get better at this?

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How do we grow our business?

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How do we make the harmony at

work, uh, between staff happen?

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And so I was just at the table with that.

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I don't know if it's anything

like you that like, I don't think

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I've ever gone a day in my life

without speaking about pies.

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There's always a link back

somewhere, isn't there?

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To, to like childhoods and family, you

know, especially if you've come from a

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family business, there's, there's always.

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And funnily enough, I saw, um, uh,

one platform, I don't know if it's

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LinkedIn now or, or Instagram, I think

it was Instagram, and somebody was

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talking about, um, a Sharon fruit.

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Oh yeah.

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No, they said a pers, persimmon.

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I always say Persephone, so yeah, that

one always gets stuck in my throat.

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You see how long I had to take

then to think that, I was like, no.

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But growing up, I knew it as a Sharon

fruit, and when I, I think I commented,

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I was like, oh, Sharon fruit, I love it.

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And they were like.

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Sharon Fruits.

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I was like, oh yeah,

that's the other name.

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So it's like all of these things

everywhere link us back to, for

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me, fruits and for you, pies.

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Do you love it?

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What a combo.

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What a combo.

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Can you imagine?

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And that's, that's what, like, I think.

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It was, I've sort of identified

the moment where I was like,

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Whoa, this stuff is really cool.

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How you communicate, uh,

can, can get you really far.

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So I was on the van with my dad,

absolutely loved doing that as a kid.

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And so he would go on, yeah, I was

like the kid who got completely

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spoiled by every chip shop owner.

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I was like, I should have been enormous.

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And I would go, Oh, right.

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Yeah.

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We'll go in and have some chips.

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Yeah.

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Have some sweets here, whatever.

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And I would watch my dad.

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And he's so good with people.

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Yeah.

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And I always remember him walking into,

you know, one chip shop and being like,

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right, this customer's really challenging.

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So, uh, we're going to

see if we can actually.

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You know, help her to look on

the bright side today or see

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today is a good day or whatever.

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Um, and I just saw this happen in

moments through just him storytelling,

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the way he connected, mirrored,

you know, all of those things.

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And it was from a really genuine place.

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I think that's that authentic place.

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So I just was like watching as a kid and

thinking that is a bit of a superpower.

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And then as you get older, you

just realize that it links to

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your finances, your relationships.

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Yeah.

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Business, everything.

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Everything is linked, isn't it?

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From, from service.

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And do you think that's where

your inspiration came from then?

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From your family sort of, well

your dad I guess, you mentioned

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your dad most, mostly there.

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So your inspiration to, to leverage

what you've learned as a child

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and step into what you do now.

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Yeah, do you know what?

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I hadn't thought about it until

I started working in this way.

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So as a theatre director, I think it was

a complete refusal of any of that world.

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It was like, how can we go the

opposite end of the spectrum here?

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Um, but actually.

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Now reflecting my, both my dad and

my mom, my mom is an incredible,

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uh, business woman who spots

people's strengths immediately and

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is really good at nurturing them.

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So again, it's kind of, you try and

step away from those worlds, but you end

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up connecting in some way, don't you?

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Yeah, you absolutely do.

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Yeah.

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And what is it, um, that

you picked up then from?

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from your mum there, I guess, with the,

the connecting and understanding and

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seeing what people are really good at.

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What elements have you picked up from that

that you've taken into your business now?

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Oh, that's a good question.

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I think it's just, it's exactly

what I did, what I loved most

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about working with actors.

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Okay.

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Seeing where they'd get the aha moments

and like leaning into that a little bit

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more or where they suddenly just kind

of relaxed and stepped into their flow.

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And I was like, Ooh, there's a,

there's a door or a key there.

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Yeah.

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So let's keep diving into that.

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Yeah.

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And, and.

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Just the sheer level of kind of

encouragement and, and noticing

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where someone is achieving something.

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I think she, she never ever misses

the opportunity to credit someone.

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And I think a lot of people

miss that, don't they?

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She's fierce.

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She's, she was, if she's listening

to this, she'll be like, this sort

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of sounds like me, but also the

women in the women in my family

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have been really, really fierce.

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Yeah.

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I guess I've gotta be though, from

a, you know, that industry as well.

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Um, and, you know, yeah, my

mum was the same Green Grocers

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and my, was mainly my, my dad.

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My mom was, my mom was the one

that was there all the time.

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Yeah.

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You, you wouldn't wanna

get on the wrong side.

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Lovely.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Um, but that's interesting

though, isn't it?

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Instantly you think of it being,

that maybe this is my perception,

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but uh, The kind of pie world.

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Then a search, um, is mainly a, a

male do dominated kind of industry.

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I dunno if that's true, but

that's just the way I see it.

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Does that, yeah, I guess

it's that factory life Yeah.

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That's associated with, with, you

know, it's really, really hard work.

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Typically kind of working class.

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Yeah.

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Um, it, it is kind of thankless

and you do need to find some kind

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of easygoing attitude to do it.

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Um, but then, yeah, there's other

roles like new product design or, um,

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you know, the kind of managerial roles

that all of my family have kind of.

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Explored things like food

hygiene, all of this.

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So it's just the peripheral

stuff that I guess kind of

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disrupts that idea of like male.

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Absolutely.

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And actually they're

just bloody good at it.

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Yeah.

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Women are really good at it.

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They're really good.

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My sister's gone into that industry.

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She's.

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Again, very good at spotting people's

strengths, knowing how to speak to people.

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So I think it's just, how do you

function as a, as a team, really?

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It just comes down to that.

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And actually, if you're not good

at it, you'll get sort of squeezed

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out that industry so quickly.

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Yeah, I guess.

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Yeah, you, you, you would.

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And I think that's the same with

a lot of industries, isn't it?

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You know, if you, if

you don't step up and.

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Realise that bloody hell you can

do this and I'm going to just touch

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on your theatre director days.

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So, I only knew this about

you very recently, didn't I?

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And again, again, perception for

me is male dominated industry.

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Your perception is correct.

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Yeah, I know, right?

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And it's worked, basically.

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Yeah, it's frustrating.

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And do you know the thing that I said

to a lot of people, I say to a lot of

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people is the thing that I still come

up against time and time again is when

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I say what I do, if I say I come from a

background as a director, without fail,

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someone will say, Oh, so you're an actor.

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Even though, even though I've just told

them, yeah, very specific, super specific.

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So it's very interesting that

like, oh, well, she must perform

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because that's what girls do.

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And I never grew up in that environment.

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So I didn't understand that.

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Like my, my grandmother, um, on one

side was very independent, brought

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up two kids, worked whole life.

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And then on the other side.

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Uh, actually I found out recently that my

grandfather had, uh, oh gosh, what was it?

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He had tuberculosis.

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Oh, wow.

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And so he was out of the game for two

years and my grandmother ran everything.

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So I never grew up with the idea that

like, this is for boys, this is for girls.

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You know, I was really

strong, really sort of tough.

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Um, and I think that

just bled into theater.

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I just went in, it was like ignorance

was bliss and it was only once I

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was in the industry did I realize.

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Wow.

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This is, this is really male heavy.

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Um, and there's a lot of invisible

work that women tend to do.

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Um, and, and don't blow

their own trumpets about it.

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No.

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I'm so glad you do.

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You know, I'm not here to talk about

women's rights and all that, you know,

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what, how amazing we are, but I'm,

I'm just really glad that somebody's

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in that place that they feel that,

yeah, I am bloody good at what I do

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and I'm going to shout out about it.

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Well, that took some work.

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Well, I was gonna say actually,

that's my next question.

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How was that for you?

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Was it easy?

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Well, you've possibly said no.

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Shaking your head.

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Okay.

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No, it was awful.

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I don't talk about this very often,

but I think now the more I'm doing

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this work, the more I'm like, actually,

this is a really important part.

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I was theater directing.

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I was one of the youngest people

to like transfer a really big show.

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And through that process,

honestly, I was vomiting.

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I was having really, really bad anxiety.

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I had to go.

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You know, seek therapist

support afterwards for years.

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I didn't know what was going on.

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I thought that I was just broken.

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Yeah.

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And, uh, you would never

know that Charlotte as well.

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So you don't tell me about

to come out the other side.

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Yeah, this is it.

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Isn't it?

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And actually what I learned was it's

a little bit like when you have an

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injury or, you know, you, you have

something happen, maybe you've had an

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accident and you have to go through

some rehabilitation to get strong again.

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Yeah.

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I was always really confident.

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Kind of a bit like cocky when I

went to university, I was like,

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everyone's doing everything wrong.

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You know, like I'm the first one

to say that really judgmental,

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actually very sort of like, okay.

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And then it was only, I think once I

went to do my master's at Birkbeck.

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I was surrounded with people who were

top of their game and I was, I was

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the only woman there on my course.

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Oh, were you?

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Yeah.

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So it was me and seven guys,

which I actually, like, they're

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such a great group of people.

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Um, and it just so happened

that that was like the year

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before it was like all female.

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So it wasn't anything to do with like,

you know, the course, but I think it

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was there that I started to think.

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I really want this and what happens

if I don't get it and I couldn't just

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kind of wing it and I think that's what

happens to people who come my way for

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public speaking support is they think,

Oh my God, I can't just wing this.

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I need to be like, good.

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I need to be standing out from the crowd.

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I need to be, you know, I've got to this

certain level and I need to wing it.

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Take it up a notch, and that's the

moment when most people just back off.

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Yeah, yeah, they just feel like, I just,

yeah, there's that, I can't do it, or,

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you know, my confidence is not there.

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So, so how did you lean in and Um, you

know, kind of overcome those fears, that

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anxiety you had, what, what did you do?

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It's, I say this a lot to people,

it's a marathon, not a sprint.

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If you have that level of fear

and it is starting to affect you

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physiologically, there is some, some

sort of habit that was first designed

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to protect you is now becoming.

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Uh, or your instinct that was

there to protect you is now

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become a habit and actually that's

something that we need to disrupt.

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So it's a combination of things and I'd

be the first person to say that if I think

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someone could benefit from therapy rather

than sessions with me, absolutely fine.

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There's certain things that obviously

a speech therapist would work with and

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certain things that a vocal coach would

work with, I wouldn't work with like

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vocal dysfunction or anything like that.

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Okay.

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Um, So it was a combination,

really, of trial and error,

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going to things like therapy.

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I remember going to a doctor's and

they said, have you tried yoga?

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And I was like, what on earth is this?

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Yoga?

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You know, like, crazy.

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That cocky attitude,

like, comes back, uh, no.

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I just was like, I

thought you were a doctor.

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You know, very, very naive.

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Um, and so I started to look into it

and just start to broaden my world.

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And it was probably from,

uh, things like performance.

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Like I went to Guildhall summer school

and I had the absolute, like I lucked

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out meeting Patsy Rodenberg, who's like.

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The head, you know, person for

like books on presence and,

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you know, speaking and stuff.

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She's worked for the RSC,

worked all over the world.

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And I met her and had

a, and we had sessions.

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So she was like straightening me up and

kind of exposing me to these new feelings.

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And I was like, what on earth is this?

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So it is a real road of like

self discovery and then it

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is just boring discipline.

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And cultivating that it is just getting

out of your own way being like, Oh, but

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I don't feel like it actually doing it.

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The thing that you don't feel like

doing is actually that, like a

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huge part of that road to recovery.

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Yeah.

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So if you're afraid of speaking,

speaking, yeah, do it, isn't it?

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And it's that, um, I actually hate

this phrase, um, there's a lot of

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things I hate, but like, was it

face the fear and do it anyway?

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I know.

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It really grates on me.

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Actually, if you look into

the sort of backstory behind

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that, then it does make sense.

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So I completely get

where you're coming from.

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And I think the thing with, um, a

lot of the time with fear, it's,

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it's there to keep us safe, right?

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It's protecting us, isn't it?

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So we often feel that.

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There's this whole, you know, I can

feel it now, if I've got fear, my whole

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body goes into like tense mode and,

but actually it's there to protect us.

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So we, I would say lean into it, okay?

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Lean into that fear and go, right,

okay, thanks for protecting me.

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Thanks for trying to keep me safe.

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Today I'm deciding not to listen to you.

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So I'm going to throw you off my

shoulder and, you know, snap into it.

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And also maybe like negotiating with it

a little bit, like going, right, what's,

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what's like the worst that could happen?

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Um, like if, like, what's the deepest

end, for example, and then like coming

386

:

back a couple of steps and being like,

right, well, I'll just broaden the stakes.

387

:

Like I'll do some of this

speaking out loud to myself.

388

:

Yes, yeah, yeah.

389

:

A lot of people are very

frightened to do that.

390

:

I would have been the first person

to say, there's no way that I'm.

391

:

doing that presentation out loud.

392

:

There's no way that I'm doing it in

front of the mirror with me, myself and

393

:

I, what if someone comes in, you know,

but then it's about like, okay, then

394

:

I'll do it in front of someone else.

395

:

And I just hated it, hated

every moment, but it is the

396

:

road to like that negotiation.

397

:

It's a little bit like when couples

go into what's called mediation and

398

:

they go, well, you have the house.

399

:

And I'll have the this.

400

:

So it's like, how do you negotiate with

the fear and go, well, I'll give you this

401

:

because I do think that's a bit big, this

massive Pearson's podcast or whatever.

402

:

Yeah.

403

:

And then I'll, I'll just

do a little bit of this.

404

:

Yeah.

405

:

And then, you know, gradually increase.

406

:

Gradually increase it.

407

:

I love that.

408

:

Um, instantly then there was, took me back

when you said mediation, they used to say,

409

:

you have the house, I'll have the CDs.

410

:

Do you remember that?

411

:

Like the CDs were like,

yeah, that was a thing.

412

:

You're probably a bit too young for that.

413

:

Yeah.

414

:

So it's like, or it was like, I'll

have the house and you can have the

415

:

dog and the CDs because you used to

have like a massive CD collection.

416

:

Yeah.

417

:

Anyway, if they were vinyls, I

feel like we'd all be in that now.

418

:

Yeah.

419

:

You can have the house.

420

:

I don't want to pay a mortgage.

421

:

You can have it, you know?

422

:

Yeah.

423

:

Absolutely.

424

:

Um, this is what my brain does,

see it goes off on a tangent.

425

:

I love it.

426

:

It's very similar to mine.

427

:

This is part of the discipline process

is like, actually, if you're like, it's

428

:

very easy to get distracted by the sort of

shiny thing that we can do for this, like,

429

:

you know, by the big course or whatever,

but actually a lot of this stuff is just

430

:

keeping it very simple going to, you know.

431

:

A relaxation, sticking on a relaxation,

actually going to bed earlier.

432

:

The boring stuff.

433

:

Oh, I know.

434

:

Let's not talk about going to bed early.

435

:

I, I was, I'm very much in

bed normally, 10 o'clock.

436

:

That's me done.

437

:

That's quite late.

438

:

Last night I went to bed at quarter past

11, which is late for my husband's away.

439

:

And I was, I struggled to go to

bed the first night when he's away.

440

:

And, um, yes, I don't know why, because

I'm very independent, but I don't know.

441

:

It's weird.

442

:

And then my dog woke

me up at half past one.

443

:

And then have us two, and then

four o'clock, so I'm back.

444

:

Oh, wow.

445

:

Not even my, not even my

daughter's my dog, yes.

446

:

Just wanted to go out

and explore the garden.

447

:

Oh, bless you.

448

:

Bless him.

449

:

I know, bless me.

450

:

Thank you, yeah.

451

:

Thank you.

452

:

Yeah, thank you.

453

:

Um, I was just thinking then of,

uh, when you said about, um, Like,

454

:

speaking out loud to yourself.

455

:

I remember a situation, this is going

back a long, long time ago, and I worked

456

:

for, um, uh, British, British Gas, and,

you know, I think I was like, you know,

457

:

18 or something, just worked there

for, for a few months before I went,

458

:

um, Well, before I did something else.

459

:

And I remember the first time I had to

pick up that phone and speak to somebody.

460

:

And you're in a call center, right?

461

:

So there's all these people around

you and you're being recorded.

462

:

And I was like, I remember picking

it up and thinking and just talking.

463

:

I'm not coming out, picking up a phone.

464

:

If you're watching this on, um,

actually picking up a phone like that.

465

:

Um, picking up a phone and speaking.

466

:

And I remember speaking really

quiet because I didn't want anyone

467

:

else around me knowing what I was

saying in case I got it wrong.

468

:

Yeah.

469

:

The fear of that and, oh God, it

didn't, now looking back, didn't

470

:

matter if I got anything wrong,

you know, it doesn't matter.

471

:

But what sort of, um, and people still

have these fears, I'm kind of, you

472

:

know, joking about them, but they're

very, very real and that's why you

473

:

do what you do, but are there any,

um, like, I don't like to say quick

474

:

fixes, but like simple tips that you

can, you can offer to any listeners

475

:

if they have got those sort of fears.

476

:

If there's something built up around

a particular activity, I think, do you

477

:

know, this is really similar as well when

you're maybe starting your own business

478

:

and you have to sell and you're like,

Oh, there's nothing worse in the world.

479

:

Speaking to this person

on zoom or whatever.

480

:

And I would just think like,

how do you make that environment

481

:

more familiar and more enjoyable?

482

:

So if it was the phone.

483

:

Call, um, just testing it with your

friends, like saying to them, right,

484

:

I want to get better at this or,

uh, just having a friendly voice on

485

:

the end of the line is brilliant.

486

:

Also having a little bit of preparation

to see if that helps for some people,

487

:

it really helps for other people.

488

:

They just need to get into

the flow of like making a

489

:

mistake and then jotting down.

490

:

So this was one of the exercises that

I did in therapy and I wouldn't like

491

:

recommend you like go and do this

your own way and seek more, you know.

492

:

help about this.

493

:

It was observing what happened in

the situation and thinking, what's,

494

:

what's the inner thought saying?

495

:

What's my, how's my body feeling?

496

:

What's happening to my breath?

497

:

Just having that sort of self

awareness and then going,

498

:

how much do I believe this?

499

:

And it was something like, when I first

started doing this, it was like, 80%.

500

:

Yeah.

501

:

I'm terrible.

502

:

They hate me.

503

:

And then switching it up and imagining

that a friend was saying this to

504

:

you and then just converting it a

little bit and desperately trying to

505

:

find the opposite, the antithesis.

506

:

And I would sit there honestly

for sometimes 20 minutes trying

507

:

to find the opposite, but you're

exercising the alternative thought,

508

:

the more critical thinking.

509

:

And so eventually I'd find something like.

510

:

They probably don't hate

me because of a phone call.

511

:

I don't think I've ever hated

anyone because of a phone call.

512

:

And so then I'd be like, you'd

reassess out the percentage

513

:

of what you believe it again.

514

:

So it'd go from 80 to 75.

515

:

And then it's, it's again, that

boring discipline of, you know, doing

516

:

this when you're in the car park and

something's happened or doing it when

517

:

you're in a job interview, doing it

when all of those situations where,

518

:

as you said at the beginning, you

feel the fear coming up in your body.

519

:

Yeah.

520

:

And just starting to find a

different angle and eventually

521

:

that will become unconscious.

522

:

It takes, it takes a while.

523

:

Um, and for some people

it's just doing the thing.

524

:

So there's different varying

degrees, I think, um, you know,

525

:

relaxation can help putting it.

526

:

Interestingly about yoga actually, uh, and

I don't know many people know this, but

527

:

it blew my mind when I first learned this.

528

:

Yoga is a controlled stress situation.

529

:

So when we're on that mat,

we're being looked after.

530

:

We're in a safe space.

531

:

Mm-Hmm.

532

:

. It's just us and the mat.

533

:

If we fall over, it's fine.

534

:

Yeah.

535

:

If we twist and contort ourselves

the stress that's awoken,

536

:

that is where the lesson is.

537

:

How do we deal with that?

538

:

Mm-Hmm.

539

:

And so you can build environments

like role play and whatever, where

540

:

you're like, pick up the phone.

541

:

What do you feel in the body?

542

:

Okay.

543

:

How can you release that a little bit?

544

:

How can you now talk on the phone?

545

:

How can you release that?

546

:

So it's, it's.

547

:

You know, adapting some of those lessons

into different environments as well.

548

:

Yeah, love that.

549

:

I'm going to come on to yoga in a little

bit, but there's a saying that, um That

550

:

I say about when you, you mentioned

it, um, those people don't hate me, you

551

:

know, like, how can they hate somebody?

552

:

They don't know you.

553

:

And something I always say is I am not

responsible for other people's thoughts.

554

:

Yes.

555

:

And that's something that,

yeah, thoughts or feelings.

556

:

Yeah, exactly.

557

:

I'm not responsible for their thoughts.

558

:

So why am I giving so much energy?

559

:

Um, and I think a lot of, a lot of

the time as well, when I, I work with

560

:

clients who are in the same situation for

different reasons, um, but also it's like,

561

:

you just can't do something yet, right?

562

:

And I think we can't do something yet.

563

:

You will be able to do it if

it's something you want to do.

564

:

You just can't do it yet.

565

:

Um, so that there's just two

little phrases that I use

566

:

that I know are quite useful.

567

:

It's the power of words for sure.

568

:

Oh God.

569

:

Like yet it's one word.

570

:

It's like, it's like, no.

571

:

If you learn to say no properly with

a full stop on the end, that is a

572

:

big, well, punctuation is such a

like gift because normally we say

573

:

no question mark, no ellipses, no.

574

:

You know, it's like, it's a question.

575

:

No, and people, people know how to say

it with their kids, with their dogs.

576

:

And then when it comes to saying

it for themselves, it's tough.

577

:

It's tough.

578

:

Yeah.

579

:

And it doesn't need to be.

580

:

I don't know what I love that.

581

:

No, with a full stop.

582

:

Yeah.

583

:

And you can, you can practice that.

584

:

So a really nice exercise is either to

just put your hand, uh, just say no, full

585

:

stop, pop your hand on your lap, or, you

know, just physicalize it in some way.

586

:

You can be walking around the

room and then say no and stop.

587

:

But physicalizing it is quite

nice because normally there's

588

:

a sort of erratic in a feeling.

589

:

And actually when you bring the

two together, there's a Yeah.

590

:

Coherence, I guess.

591

:

Yeah.

592

:

Yeah.

593

:

I love that.

594

:

And it's, yeah, it feels more

formal when you, when you use the

595

:

hand as well, it feels more like.

596

:

Yeah, exactly.

597

:

Yeah.

598

:

Yeah.

599

:

I love it.

600

:

I love all that.

601

:

I absolutely love it.

602

:

It's the intelligence

of the body we forget.

603

:

We do, we massively do.

604

:

And just simple things as well,

just like grounding your feet,

605

:

you know, putting your, putting

both your feet flat on the floor.

606

:

If I'm ever going to start working with

somebody, I will say, if you can put

607

:

your feet flat on the floor so you feel

more grounded and it instantly makes

608

:

you feel more comfortable, doesn't it?

609

:

So I love that.

610

:

Right.

611

:

Okay.

612

:

Let's lean into a little bit

about the yoga and the breath work

613

:

and how you Work that into your

coaching or consultancy practice.

614

:

Yeah, so.

615

:

Go on.

616

:

No, just to give a bit of

context of why it happened.

617

:

So I had a really busy year and

I think yoga had really helped

618

:

me and I thought, you know what,

I'm just big, big fat challenge.

619

:

Yeah.

620

:

I'm going to do my 200 hour training

and it isn't for everyone and you don't

621

:

have to be a yoga teacher afterwards.

622

:

And I didn't really think about

being a yoga teacher afterwards.

623

:

I just thought this could

really help with theater.

624

:

Um, and so.

625

:

I had women of the world festival.

626

:

We did the first one of those in

Wales and then also processions,

627

:

which was a huge event.

628

:

And then literally I finished

it, I think on the weekend.

629

:

And then by the Wednesday I

was off to the Himalayas and

630

:

super, super lucky, really cold.

631

:

It was sort of December time.

632

:

Oh God.

633

:

Yeah.

634

:

Yes.

635

:

Yeah.

636

:

But what did you expect though?

637

:

Yeah.

638

:

So that's a, just a bit of context really.

639

:

And again, it comes from all of these

amazing people that I just managed

640

:

to work with, like Patsy Rodenberg,

other voice teachers, it all related

641

:

to yoga, to breathing, to the

expertise of your body and your breath.

642

:

Yeah.

643

:

It's, um.

644

:

Interesting because I've only been

practicing yoga now for, oh, it's

645

:

probably just gone up to a year actually.

646

:

Yeah, and, you know, it's interesting

because whenever I go on the mat, I'm,

647

:

I'm still find myself not being able to

do so much, but I, I actually don't care.

648

:

I love the fact that you

said it's just me on the mat.

649

:

It's You know, if I, sometimes I struggle

to even do a downward dog and I'm like,

650

:

what's going on with my body today?

651

:

Yeah, but I lean into it and it's

like everything's, everything's okay.

652

:

I know I'm safe, so everything's okay.

653

:

Um, and I went on a breathwork course,

um, just before we moved actually, so

654

:

maybe July, end of July, um, Loved it.

655

:

Yeah.

656

:

Absolutely loved it.

657

:

And I've really noticed now

everything in my breath, I, I'm

658

:

really conscious of the way I used

to breathe and how different it is.

659

:

Especially when I'm, um, when I'm, when

I'm in a state of heightened state.

660

:

Yeah.

661

:

And God, sometimes I still get

fearful and you know, I'm human,

662

:

I get nervous about things and I

really, really look at my breath

663

:

and what it's doing for me and what.

664

:

Yeah, what, what it can do for

me rather than what it can't.

665

:

And I, you might know this and I'm

sure it's true, but aren't we supposed

666

:

to only breathe something like six

times a minute, like proper breaths?

667

:

I would say that.

668

:

What's made that up?

669

:

That's quite low.

670

:

Yeah.

671

:

Yeah.

672

:

I might know that is, is I

think within sort of 30 seconds

673

:

it's around, uh, it is around.

674

:

Probably between four and eight

times, maybe it was 30 seconds then.

675

:

Oh, yeah.

676

:

Okay.

677

:

Yeah.

678

:

But again, there's no kind of

should, there's just information.

679

:

Um, and I, I call it breathwork, but

really it is pranayama, which is the

680

:

strand of breathing breath awareness,

uh, in yoga prana is the life force

681

:

or the energy in the body, or, you

know, some people in the Chinese

682

:

medicine world would call it chi.

683

:

Yeah.

684

:

Yeah.

685

:

Yeah.

686

:

And Yama is control or guidance.

687

:

So the trick is exactly what

you were saying there is like

688

:

to notice and then guide.

689

:

Okay.

690

:

Yeah.

691

:

The breath because the breath

is the conduit of the energy.

692

:

And so if you can sort of, I

always liken it to a bit of a fire

693

:

triangle, the body breath and voice.

694

:

If you can.

695

:

grapple with one, the others kind

of follow suit, or if you've got

696

:

two, the other one will come along.

697

:

So say exactly your example, ground your

feet, lower your breath, your voice is

698

:

going to sound different, which is great.

699

:

Absolutely.

700

:

It's, it's really interesting because

a lot of people don't know that I'm

701

:

actually a qualified master hypnotherapist

and I, I absolutely love it because I

702

:

think it's so powerful, but my voice

is, is not like I'm on this podcast.

703

:

I'm always very, you know, not loud,

but I'm quite bubbly and such, but

704

:

actually the difference in what you

do with just slowing your whole,

705

:

your whole body, your breathing.

706

:

Um, yeah, it's just, it's amazing.

707

:

And your intention, that's

what's different there because

708

:

on a podcast, your intention is.

709

:

To inspire, to rejuvenate, to revivify,

whatever, and, and so your whole body

710

:

and your breath and your voice is tapped

into that, whereas with hypnotism,

711

:

it's, I'm saying, like, to calm, to.

712

:

Stand away from certain thoughts

or whatever, it'll have a

713

:

different, a different intention,

basically a different mission.

714

:

Absolutely.

715

:

You're right.

716

:

It's completely right.

717

:

So, um, let's go back a bit.

718

:

So now you are a public

speaking coach consultant.

719

:

If somebody was like, okay, Charlotte.

720

:

I am shit scared of speaking out.

721

:

I, I want to, my next goal is to really,

really grow my business and I want to

722

:

speak on a stage in front of 200 people.

723

:

Would you give them the same advice, um,

as Somebody has said, right, I've got to,

724

:

I've got to give a presentation to my,

um, senior leaders in, in my job tomorrow.

725

:

Would the, would the tips or tricks

or advice you give them be the same?

726

:

Do you know what?

727

:

I haven't thought about that.

728

:

But actually that's a really great

question because the principles

729

:

are the same because I think it.

730

:

It matters whether you're speaking

to one or one thousand they matter.

731

:

Yeah.

732

:

And so They're both very

different, aren't they?

733

:

Both One seems really big and like

in a big audience, but actually

734

:

the person's got to give a

presentation to maybe three people.

735

:

That's really big to them.

736

:

Uh, yeah, exactly.

737

:

And they all have different Kind of points

of expertise that they're starting on.

738

:

So I often say there's two groups

of people that I typically help.

739

:

The ones who are absolutely terrified

and I've never done anything like

740

:

this before and really want to.

741

:

And then the ones who have a bit more

experience, they're a bit more confident,

742

:

but they don't quite know how to now

take their speaking to the next level.

743

:

So like with a performer, like

what we just talked about there,

744

:

we talk about intention, like.

745

:

We're, we're talking about things

like, um, how can you do something

746

:

to the audience or, you know,

that sort of transitive verb,

747

:

which we do with performers.

748

:

So we'll say, you know, I, I do.

749

:

I am doing this to someone

and how does that change them?

750

:

Cause that's our mission

as people, isn't it?

751

:

To kind of say something

to achieve something.

752

:

Yeah.

753

:

Yeah, there's like a target.

754

:

And as you said before, we're not in

charge of other people's feelings, but

755

:

we, we do, we do sort of say, and we

hope that, you know, if the, if the.

756

:

Verb is something like to inspire,

to motivate, to educate, you know,

757

:

those are all really worthy missions.

758

:

So yeah, I think they would be

sort of similar things and then

759

:

it would be, how do you deal with

certain things in that environment?

760

:

So like for someone, as you say,

who's really nervous, how do we get

761

:

their muscle memory to feel like

this is exciting rather than nervous?

762

:

Now there's.

763

:

Big kind of cliche phrase that's

banded about the like fear and

764

:

excitement are the same thing.

765

:

It is true that they're physiologically

very similar, but if you don't have

766

:

preparation, you won't feel excited.

767

:

I guarantee you the switch that happened

for me was when I was so prepared.

768

:

That I felt like I could walk in there

and handle anything that happened

769

:

and actually have fun with it.

770

:

Yeah, it's like spinning plates.

771

:

It's like if I said to you go and

spin those plates if you've never

772

:

done that before And you don't know

the strategies you're going to go.

773

:

Oh my god I'm, just going to try my

best and and you know wish for the best.

774

:

Yeah Um, but if I gave you some strategies

you'd You'd have a better chance

775

:

and actually you might find it fun.

776

:

Yeah, developing that skill.

777

:

Oh, yeah, I love that And it's

just taken me back actually.

778

:

So, um Board break and I've actually

broken a board with my hands.

779

:

Oh, I was like, what is that?

780

:

Breaking that's amazing It is amazing.

781

:

And that was all and You know when you

see somebody and go right on, you're

782

:

on tv and they like just go right down

they just break a ball and you're like

783

:

they must, it must already broken but

actually it's the power of a strategy and

784

:

understanding those steps you've got to

take just to be able to do that it all

785

:

comes from, oh everything comes from.

786

:

Brain, obviously, but everything that we

tell ourselves, you know, comes from our

787

:

brain and the strategies that we put in

place will help you to be that inspiring

788

:

person to educate, whatever you said.

789

:

So yeah, I love that.

790

:

I love that.

791

:

There's so much at our disposal that a lot

of us walk around completely unconscious

792

:

of things like visual and vocal brand,

like how, how we ground ourselves, how

793

:

we're using gesture, how we're, Looking

from a facial expression point of view,

794

:

and then the sound of our voice, how we

can control that, the content of what

795

:

we speak, like this, it's like learning

an instrument, but we all just go,

796

:

Oh, we should just be amazing at it.

797

:

Well, there's a reason why

actors are on stage and you're

798

:

compelled versus, you know.

799

:

When you're watching a presentation and

you're like, Oh God, I wish this was over.

800

:

The reason why TED talks are so

compelling and the keynote speech

801

:

at your quarterly review isn't.

802

:

It's just so, that's so

bloody true, isn't it?

803

:

It is, yeah.

804

:

Unless, unless you're really

interested in your quarterly review.

805

:

You're not going to be

as engaged, are you?

806

:

You know, it's not going to be

something that really excites you.

807

:

Um, okay, amazing.

808

:

So.

809

:

What direction are you heading in now?

810

:

What, is there anything that you're,

you've got coming up that, um, can help

811

:

people in all different stages of their

public speaking sort of, um, goals?

812

:

Yeah, so I'm taking on clients at the

moment, which I haven't been like, For a

813

:

little while, uh, so most people choose

to work with me monthly so that they can

814

:

have like a deep dive session and then

they get the peripheral support and it

815

:

just feels like you've got someone on

your side a little bit like, obviously

816

:

when you coach people, I'm sure in terms

of like events and things like that, I'm

817

:

just excited to see what kind of comes up.

818

:

Yeah.

819

:

Yeah.

820

:

And, and be inspired by it.

821

:

But there is, there's a couple of things.

822

:

There's irons in the fire.

823

:

Amazing.

824

:

And you've just moved house as well,

so you're just in the process of

825

:

getting yourself sorted in a house.

826

:

And I don't think people realise how

much headspace that actually takes.

827

:

It's, do you know what, I've never

thought so much about, you know,

828

:

bathroom wall sealant in my life.

829

:

Slash ever.

830

:

Ever!

831

:

And yeah, we need to get it out

of your head, don't we, we need

832

:

to get it out of your head.

833

:

Yeah, but there's loads going on.

834

:

I think there's some lovely events

around Cardiff and things and

835

:

yeah, I'm just really excited

to keep being a part of them.

836

:

Amazing, amazing.

837

:

Can you give us, um, a,

a bit of a case study?

838

:

I'd love for the audience to know that

somebody that's come to you with a certain

839

:

goal and then how they've left you.

840

:

Yeah, so I've actually got two

clients that spring to mind.

841

:

I've got three.

842

:

Uh, someone that came along to my workshop

the other day, she first came to me.

843

:

And was having therapy for a

really, really difficult response.

844

:

It was like she was losing

sleep because of presentations

845

:

that would have to happen.

846

:

Oh gosh, okay.

847

:

Um, couldn't sleep, couldn't recover.

848

:

A nervous system was really just

tired of that and God, I'm going to

849

:

have to, you know, it was things like

backing out from opportunities as well.

850

:

And she knew deep down that she was

capable of things like promotion.

851

:

And so we worked together for

only a couple of months, really.

852

:

And I spoke to her again the other day

on this workshop, she said, I've got a

853

:

presentation tomorrow with one of the

biggest clients I've ever spoken to.

854

:

And she said, I'm not nervous.

855

:

Amazing.

856

:

And I was like.

857

:

What?

858

:

Like, I'm still surprised, but it

is testament to how much discipline,

859

:

those strategies, those exercises,

that support can, can really help.

860

:

And the biggest fallacy that I see is

that This state of fear is permanent.

861

:

It really isn't.

862

:

I see it time and time again.

863

:

Like three people just

popped into my head.

864

:

Yeah.

865

:

And it doesn't have to

be that way, does it?

866

:

You know?

867

:

No, it doesn't.

868

:

Yeah.

869

:

And that must be amazing for you.

870

:

Yeah, absolutely.

871

:

And that must be amazing for you

though, for then somebody to come to

872

:

you and say, I'm not nervous anymore.

873

:

When I first came to you, look at

where I was and look at where I'm now.

874

:

It's like that whole thing, I'm

taking on the world, but just

875

:

even that confidence that, you

know, has changed people's lives.

876

:

Yeah, it was, it's, it's really,

really rewarding because I think my

877

:

frustration with theater was I wasn't

able to do the thing that I loved more

878

:

often because you have one big play and

whatever and all your energy goes in.

879

:

Now it's like being.

880

:

My own, people having their own

personal theater director on call.

881

:

That's how I describe it.

882

:

Yeah.

883

:

Yeah.

884

:

So it's, it's brilliant.

885

:

I get to do loads of plays, speak

about loads of different things.

886

:

Oh my God.

887

:

What play would you put me in Charlotte?

888

:

What play?

889

:

Oh God.

890

:

Do you know what?

891

:

Shakespeare already comes to mind.

892

:

Shakespeare.

893

:

Yeah.

894

:

There's some amazing, there's

some amazing work out there.

895

:

Actually, if people are thinking about,

you know, how could I work on this

896

:

sort of thing, I think it's brilliant.

897

:

Join, joining something like an

AmDram group is brilliant because

898

:

you're all in the same boat.

899

:

Yes, all learning, all taking

that first step, isn't it?

900

:

Yeah, amazing.

901

:

Okay, um, I've just noticed the time

and as you know, I would love to talk.

902

:

Yeah, I'd love to talk talk.

903

:

Um, but a really important question

I'm going to have to ask you is please

904

:

tell me what is your favorite cake?

905

:

Oh, favorite cake.

906

:

I do think it's carrot cake.

907

:

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, amazing.

908

:

I love a carrot cake.

909

:

Yeah, great, you can, you

can definitely come again.

910

:

If there was a lemon drizzle mentioned

again today, I was like, there's no more.

911

:

Oh, really?

912

:

Yes, most people come on, it's

lemon drizzle, but carrot,

913

:

yeah, just love a carrot cake.

914

:

I like a carrot cake because

I think it's underestimated.

915

:

People are like, there is no way.

916

:

The carrot will taste good.

917

:

And then you're like,

damn, it's really great.

918

:

Yeah.

919

:

And the icing.

920

:

Oh, yeah.

921

:

Brilliant.

922

:

Charlotte, you've been

absolutely fantastic.

923

:

If somebody does want to, you're welcome.

924

:

Somebody does want to, um, Reach

out to you, know more about you.

925

:

Where can they find you?

926

:

Yeah.

927

:

So the two best places or three

best places, probably LinkedIn.

928

:

I'm Charlotte Lewis, Instagram,

Charlotte Lewis Consultant,

929

:

and then they can also email.

930

:

So hello at charlotte lewis.

931

:

co.

932

:

uk.

933

:

Fantastic.

934

:

Thank you so much, my love.

935

:

Thank you.

936

:

Speak to you soon.

937

:

Take care.

938

:

Take care.

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About the Podcast

Fabulous & Female
Hello and welcome to Fabulous & Female! For women who are running their own businesses and want advice, guidance and great tips that they can take forward for business growth, better balanced life and most importantly to avoid burnout, then this is for you!

Featuring fantastic guest interviews, you will get to hear inspirational stories behind successful female entrepreneurs, plus the real life dramas that happen behind the scenes. Between guest interviews, listen in to hear the host talk about her own business experiences and share tips and knowledge gained over many years of business life, plus the huge changes made from bricks and mortar businesses to coaching.

Each week, these honest, funny and ‘keeping it real’ conversations show the ups and downs in the life of an entrepreneur.

Follow Helen
https://linktr.ee/Helencorsicadmore

About your host

Profile picture for Helen Corsi-Cadmore

Helen Corsi-Cadmore

Helen Corsi-Cadmore:
An award-winning Business, Mindset and Fertility Coach, an NLP Master practitioner, Hypnotherapist and mum to twin girls.
Having built a successful career in property, and then turning her hand to owning a large multi-million-pound retail business, Helen is now a successful coach that helps people achieve their true desires by being a positive disruption!
Huge lover of fresh air, coffee and cake and dogs!

Jane Mack:
A bestselling Author, Visibility Coach, and mum to two boys.
Jane’s first business was a successful holiday letting agency she owned with her husband before selling it to a national company. She moved into business consultancy before realising a passion for coaching.
After going through her own visibility journey she now helps women be visible in their businesses, because she believes no one should feel they have to hide because of fear.